becoming introverted

I officially moved out of Ann Arbor today, which made my heart ache. Empty houses depress me so. I walk around them, a thousand memories rush in, and I get so depressed realizing I will never be able to recreate that equation again. Too many factors are involved. Time catches you off guard and then you're entirely unable to see a person on the same level you once used to. But it's obviously useless trying to hold on to something that's time has passed. I enjoyed my time with Julia and Sarah immensely, but I doubt we will ever be as close as we were these past 3 months. I'm horrible at goodbyes.
This summer I thought a lot about why college kids are starting to annoy me so much. Most of my theories were horribly depressing and probably wrong, but then again I am a student of Philosophy, which is the study of theories that have been disproved. Anyhow...
I feel like in many ways college is like running away from the real world, and you only accelerate as you go. Yes, you do only have 4 short years before you're out in that terrifying "real world", but what is so horrible about supporting yourself and not getting hammered every night? I honestly believe that by paying for my own education I will eventually take more from it. Now, that very well could only be because I didn't have the option, but I'll take what I've been given. This summer my parents gave me the choice. I could come home and live here for free, or I could stay in AA if I paid my way. Maybe my choice wasn't the most economically advantageous, but I feel like overall it was the better way to go. Taking care of myself gives me such a good, honest high. I plan on enjoying my college years, and then enjoying my job once I get it. I will appreciate the moment I am in.
This summer I watched my co-workers work, bring home good money, and then go blow it all at the bar. Repeat. Now, I enjoyed the people I worked with, and I made many good friends, but I just don't understand that. Sure, going out once in awhile is fun, but why is it necessary to go out every night and get hammered? That was also the #1 reason people told me to stay in Ann Arbor over the summer. "Yea dude! You can get plastered every night!"
Um...I'll pass. I'll work and save so I can travel around Europe, while you frequent the same dirty bar every weekend.
Also, the older you get, the drinking increases, until suddenly you're graduating. And then you become horribly depressed because you can't bar hop every night. And then you're stuck in the real world, which is usually very sober. Aw shucks.
It just seems like such a vicious cycle. I'm not gonna say I'm completely done with "college rituals", but this summer kind of opened my eyes. It's easy to get sucked in.
NO MORE PEER PRESSURE.

Ok, and now we continue on to the more lighthearted half of this crazy entry.
Today was my last day of work, which meant closing a manic lunch shift. I actually let my last table know that they were my last table of the summer. A woman and her teenage daughter humored me and asked all about Freiburg. I filled Diet Cokes and obliged happily. I'll miss random conversations with strangers.
I left with $90 and a free lunch for my last day. I really do enjoy that job, and it was a lucky one to come by. Hopefully it'll still be waiting for me when I return.
After work Craig and I went over to my house to clear out my fridge and leave my key. Yesterday the whole family came to load out all of my crap and I stayed to work my final shifts. Craig and I drove out of North Campus, away from the setting sun and blasting Radiohead's "Optimistic".
Perfect.
Now I am safely home. The garage is littered with everything I own, my cat is making me sneeze, and my mother is already pestering me to remember to turn off the basement lights. My sister's best friend also commented on how the last 4 times she's seen me, I've been wearing the same jean skirt.
I already know I'll be wearing it for the 5th time she sees me.
I basically have a week to prepare myself for this gigantic escapade. Most of this preparation is emotional, but fitting my life into 2 suitcases and a backpack will be interesting.
It's funny thinking about how having more things at this point, is bad. It's like the perfect antidote to materialism. Moving to Europe is going to do wonders for me. I can feel it.

Jetzt gehe ich ins Bett.