I am moving to Freiburg, Germany in 25 days. I will live there, as a student, for 48 weeks.
I have yet to really figure out how I feel about this ordeal. I like being able to properly classify my emotions and fit them into convenient little boxes, so I can anticipate how I will react when another similar scenario arises. Of course, this never works. Every situation seems to blindside me. I never know how strongly I'll feel about something until it's suddenly smacking me in the face and I'm a mess of tears and babble. That's what I think scares me the most. This is all going to hit me at once as soon as I turn to board that plane and I lose sight of my parents.
Of course, I wouldn't necessarily say being a ticking time-bomb of emotions is unlucky, or in any way bad. Sometimes it is rather inconvenient, but I enjoy being me. I, unlike the majority of my classmates and peers, am able and willing to move my entire life across an ocean for a year. And as my mother says, I've been destined to do this. I will not be scared. I will not be scared. Oh boy.
I am Rebecca Patterson. I am ambitious, creative, dramatic, and very forward. I am 20 years old and am entering my 3rd year at the University of Michigan, with a major in German and a minor in Moral & Political Philosophy. No, I have no clue as to what I'm going to do with my life, but I'm not going to worry about it just yet. For now, I plan on going and running around Europe until I "find myself" and after that, I'll trust instinct. Good plan, eh? Maybe I'm screwed, but at least I'll be bilingual.
My two most favorite things ever are Literature and Music. I am horribly obsessed with both, as anyone around me can tell you. One might wonder why I'm not an English major, or a Music major. We'll touch on that for another time, because I'll probably get overly passionate about it and start crying right here. That wouldn't be any good, considering I am at a public computing site. Oh, crying probably ranks at #3 on my favorite things list. Or boys.
Anyway, my biggest concern about going to Germany is my horrible fear of actually speaking in German. I'm what you would call a Grammar Nazi, and it's so much easier to double check yourself if the language is nicely written out in front of you. Conjugations and prepositions get so much trickier when you're letting things fly off your tongue. I think for my first month in Freiburg I will be mute. Great. I'll be the weird, quiet American girl. Then I'll start babbling in German and I'm sure I'll butcher everything. Maybe the country will throw me out. Hey, I could always end up in France, no?
I've grown up so in love with the English language, which I will blame on my parents. I've been writing and reading religiously since I was 5. My most prized possessions are my journals, which I have been keeping since I was 10, and have never failed to leave my side. All of my money goes to both new and used books. Once in awhile I'll go buy clothes or jewelry, like most girls my age, but they just feel so...boring after awhile. This next year, I feel like I'll be abandoning my beloved English language. Of course, I love German too, but for different reasons. German is so seductive and dramatic. English is honest and easy. It's as if English has been my devoted wife for years, and German is my mistress. I doubt that will make any sense to anyone, but it fits to me. So, I'm taking off with the mistress and am stepping completely out of my comfort zone. Maybe I am a masochist, but this should be fun.
Alright. That feels like enough of an introduction. If yee plan to be faithful readers, heed my warning: I am random as all hell. This is not meant to be the Great American Novel. It's going to be my space to rant for the next year or so, and at times it will be difficult for both of us. Let's both not expect too much and we'll come out fine.
And now, Chris is forcing me to go get sushi with him. Bah life is sooo difficult.
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