I miss Mexican food. I guess I just didn't realize how much until my father told me that today.
My list of things I want him to bring me: guacamole, taco spice, Robitussin, Zip-Loc bags, and cheesy Chex Mix. Also Tostitos, even if they are merely crumbs after the flight.
Funny to think that Turkish food is all over the place here, and at home it's all Mexican. And everyone everywhere is in an uproar about immigration. So, of course I will immediately crave Turkish food once I'm back home. You should be craving it right now, as you read this. As I continue on this rant, I will mention that I miss all the crazy Spanish speaking cooks at Cottage Inn. They used to throw things at me, teach me dirty words, put up Maxim posters, etc. I also won $5 off of Rene from the Argentina vs. Germany World Cup game. That was better than any tip I received that day.
ONWARD
So, Germany universities have finally decided to catch up with the times and have started imposing something called Studiengebuehren, which are student fees to go to university. Up until now, Germans have been able to go to University completely free of charge, which sounds great if you're moi, but now that I've come here, I realize the advantages to going to the most expensive public school in my great nation. Sure, looking at my tuition bills makes me want to start living off of grass and water, but that money goes somewhere. Most of it goes to the football team, but at least $50 goes toward something good! Maybe?
For example, I miss having a beautiful big student gym, a health clinic, a library that is open from 8 AM to 5 AM every day, newly renovated campus buildings, etc. And hey, other majors get all kinds of huge cool toys to play with. I picked a major that involves a lot of paper, public humiliation and a few expensive plane tickets, so I obviously wasn't thinking clearly. But still! My University is super expensivo, but it's one of the best in the world for a reason. So, now I feel a little better about being in poverty when I get to pay off my loans.
Anyway, students are LIVID about these Studiengebuehren, which I would totally understand, but they're 500 Euro. THAT'S HOW MUCH I PAID FOR RENT IN A SINGLE MONTH LAST YEAR. And they're all over campus with flyers and BOYKOTT written all over everything in black and yellow. They're trying to talk to me and I just give them dirty looks. You can afford those cigarettes, eh, but you can't afford your own education?
I realize they're poor students. I am definitely on that team and shamelessly ask for any discount I can. And I want to reach out to them and say "Guys! I'm on your team! But c'mon! It could only get better!" The Uni here isn't in shambles, but it could do with some re-touching. The library isn't even open on Sunday, which I find absolutely intolerable. Sunday is my Holy Day of Homework.
I don't mean to make anyone angry, especially if you're an irate German student who somehow stumbled upon my blog. But that's just my opinion on the matter.
Today I also accidentally ordered 'Sewing for Dummies' off of amazon.de. The best part is that I checked the address of where it's being sent? Mary Markley Residence Hall, Ann Arbor. So, not only did I accidentally buy a book for 30 Euro, it's now being sent to some random freshman in my old dorm. And I highly doubt they're interesting in sewing. I mean, they should be, but not everyone can be as cool as me.
I have now sent about 3 e-mails to German Amazons (haha I'm so funny) begging to cancel the order. I also freaked out about it to Tom, who wasn't even really phased. We're gonna try to call tomorrow. If that doesn't work, then I'll enlist Laura to drive out to Ann Arbor and wrestle my book away from someone.
And yes, I do WANT the book "Sewing for Dummies". I think I'd put it to good use. After 5 blankets, I'm sick of crocheting and I need to try something new. Like making my own clothes. Everything I own is boring anyway. I can sew boring stuff. The scariest part is figuring out a new machine. I've only just now mastered my camera...after a year.
Today wasn't terribly eventful. I woke up, had 3 cups of coffee for breakfast, went to the AYF office , got my new Time (YEAAAH) and found out I got a 1,4 for my IH class. That's roughly a 95%. Cool. But of course, none of this goes into my GPA. Bah.
Then I found out my Kunst Klausur grade, which wasn't nearly as impressive. But I think that will be severely curved. And, once again, none of this goes into my GPA. Phew.
As you can see, I have mixed feelings about this.
Oh Choir Concerts! I almost forgot.
They went pretty well. The one on Saturday night was the best, I think. The acoustics in the church we were in were amazing, which made it hard for everyone to hear each other. But we made more mistakes on Sunday, so they recorded the good concert.
It felt good to get up and sing, even though I am definitely not used to using a folder when I sing a choir concert. My heart and my wrist suffered. Yea, we got to sing more music, but I'd rather sing fewer songs really well. But hey, I'm in a different world. Quantity over quality round here, I guess.
However, flowy black pants are definitely a worldwife requirement for female choir directors. I remember being with my mom when she bought hers.
Christoph came on Saturday night and ended up being my only fan, which was so sweet of him. It made me feel very loved. I know Tom would have come, but he says classical music makes him sleepy, which I can understand.
I'm used to having a Fan Club that takes up half the audience, so this time around was a little different which was definitely ok. And Mom, I tried desperately to get a picture with my director afterward, but I couldn't find her. I figured that was a thing you would have done. I've learned this after roughly 293453 choir concerts with you and your camera.
Anyway, choir is over for the semester. And I definitely plan on singing with them next semester because the program says Purcell. I am very excited about this. You know you are a choir geek when Purcell gets you antsy to sight-read.
Dad gets here in 6 days. I am doing my best to get these papers conquered before that, but it's not looking good. For example, I spent last Friday at the library 7-10. You would be hard pressed to find another time in my life where I've ever been at the library on a Friday, much less at night. Then I was back there again tonight until close.
If you thought your college experience was hard, did you ever try to do it in another language? HUH?
Of course, I can also be put in my place, because I met some Japanese girl studying Advanced Macroeconomics in German.
Ah well. My first semester officially ends on Wednesday, so that'll be nice.
Alright this entry officially sucks. I've been trying to write lately but none of it's passing the test. I'll let this one fly just so you all can see what a failed entry looks like. It has no flow and I'm writing like I'm 13 again. But that's life, I guess.
But then again, how much excitement can you really expect from a girl who wants to make her own clothes and loves old English madrigals?
Monday, February 12, 2007
Saturday, February 03, 2007
stressed interestingness
Alright. The task ahead of me is daunting.
Back in the day I used to have a Livejournal, which was my blog through high school and basically my journal through those years as well, because I have a total of about 5 written entries for my entire junior year. For awhile I got upset with myself about this, because obviously writing for an Internet audience isn't the best way to voice your innermost thoughts. But then I realized that by keeping my journal that way, I was really expressing myself in the best way possible because it fit that period of my life. I was 16 and no one understood me and my parents were obviously out to ruin my life, so venting it all out in a blog was much better than, I don't know, spray painting things and doing drugs. And, all of my best friends at Livejournal, and then we'd all talk about each others entries at the lunch table the next day. This, my friends, is how my generation communicates.
I actually copied my entire LJ into a Word document once. I put it in 10 pt. font with half inch margins and it was still somewhere around 600-700 pages. I originally wanted to print it all out, bind it, and then erase it from the Internet entirely. Of course, a week after I got done copying and pasting my life away, Best Buy viciously murdered my harddrive.
All last summer Sarah and I used to sit in the living room before we'd go to work. She'd watch the Food Network, and I'd sit there copying. pasting, and re-reading all my old LJ entries. We also did all of this in our underwear while eating Meijer brand mac & cheese, because we had no AC and were dirt poor. Ah, good times.
Anyway, the point I was getting at, was that I did get a lot of compliments about my LiveJournal from people whom I really didn't know that well. For example, Laura's camp friends. And when people said nice things to me, they'd usually say something to the effect of "Your life is just SO interesting". I honestly heard that way more than I ever thought I would, which was cool, but just confused me. I was just your average choir geek growing up in the 'burbs of Detroit. Sure, I did some outrageous things in high school. But so does everyone, right? I will now attempt to divide up the "interestingness" of my life, as I see it...
50% of it is how I write about it (If you know how to write, you can make going to the grocery store sound amazing)
20% my being dramatic (the intensity goes up a few notches)
20% my parents instilling the idea of EXPERIENCES > MATERIAL THINGS into me (This is why I am now running around Europe in $12 TJMaxx jeans)
10% my being impulsive (However, I am pleased with the vast majority of my impulsive decisions. Like hacking off all my hair and going to Oktoberfest. Quality decisions, I say.)
So whenever anyone said that to me, I'd say "No. Not true. Your life is interesting too, you just need to write it down."
I actually mean these things, too.
Anyway, all of that was to make the point that right now, I feel that I am limited when it comes to interesting things to write about. So, I am forced to make mundane activities sound exciting. However, they are mundane activities in Germany, and I continue to be dramatic and impulsive. I have a few things going for me.
Lately I've just been stressing, sleeping, or being productive. The stress actually encompasses all things. So, I've been stress-sleeping and going to the library stressed. Stressed teeth brushing. Stressed coffee making. It's rough.
Germany is a procrastinators worst nightmare, considering all the work comes at the end. But, I feel that the stress level is equivalent to that of finals at U of M. Yes, all of this is auf Deutch, but I have a dumb foreigner bonus here. I am entirely ok with this. The overachiever in me has vanished and I want to make it abundanly clear to all my professors that I only partially have an idea of what's going on. I don't want to turn in crap, but I'm not aiming too high. I figure the accomplishmen in itself will be enough. And these grades don't go into my GPA. If you all hadn't notice, this is me trying to talk myself into being less stressed.
I've already started doing research and I went to a workshop on how to do Hausarbeits
Hausarbeit - gigantic big formal paper
The format is a big huge deal over here. You're a lot more likely to be graded down if you cite something wrong than if you mess up one of your ideas. Also, you must never, ever be subjective. And no one cares about your own opinion. I really don't mind this, considering I'm not terribly passionate about anything I'm writing about. But it's so very German, of course. In America my entire childhood was filled with writing about my personal thoughts. Now, I like this and I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but I was hardly taught any decent grammar because of this. The only grammar I ever got was when I tutored it myself, completely independent of public schooling.
Exhibit A:
"How are you today?"
"Oh I'm good"
NO YOU ARE NOT GOOD. YOU ARE WELL. Saying your good means you're a good person, which you are not because you obviously don't have respect for the English language.
Alright I can't get too upset. I'm not perfect. I still have no idea when one is supposed to use a hyphen or parentheses. So I just throw them around poorly. I apologize for this, especially-to-my-step-mom.
So, that's my message to America. Teach more grammar. And make my little brother learn the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.
Other than learning to be more Socialist, I've been buying tickets to places and looking forward to my break. Natalie and I found 29 Euro tickets from Munich-Budapest, which is amazing. Also after talking to John about what he wants to do when he's here, we decided on a quick jump over to Rome for two nights because I found 60 Euro tickets. I told him we're not allowed to ever sleep and that I'll translate for him when we go hang out with the Pope.
Speaking of John, I miss him and think about him a lot, which of course makes me think about a whole bunch of things. And then I listen to Ella Fitzgerald, which doesn't help anything. I think basically right now I'm doing my best to just live in the moment and enjoy my time here without fixating too much on people at home. But sometimes, that's a lot easier said than done. Especially when you're me.
My other activities: trying to like tomatoes, getting colds, and cleaning my room daily. It's really exciting. I know. I figure a month of hell is alright, considering I haven't been doing anything productive for the past 5 months straight. And I get rewarded with 7 weeks of travel and people visiting me.
Shucks.
Alex and Adam are in Egypt right now, which just makes me a lot more aware of where I am in the world. It's not THAT outrageous to take off for Egypt for the weekend. Or Morocco. Or Istanbul.
The more time I'm here, the more I think that 11 months really isn't that long. A year ago the thought of 11 months terrified me. Deciding to come here scared me horribly but I knew it was just something I needed to do. I also kind of fell into it accidentally, because Julia mentioned it to me one day. Honestly. There wasn't in depth research or a lot of questions asked, which you think someone should do when it concerns a year of their life. I just went for it and then slowly fell more in love with the idea. And everyone yelled at me about leaving.
But now I'm here and I've hit the halfway mark and I'm kind of wondering what the hell happened. I feel like I got here yesterday. Everyone at home keeps going on about how August 3 is so far away but no, it's not. I disagree. It'll be on my doorstep all too soon and then I'll be a total mess when I have to leave Freiburg. I miss home, but right now, I am glad I am here.
I will also now refer to my wonderful grandmother. She and I were talking about my possibly doing Peace Corps and as she said, 2 years really isn't THAT long. And she's in her 80's. So her advice carries a lot of weight because she is definitely what I would call wise. And honestly, what scares me the most about PeaceCorps is how long it is. Well, and possibly not having running water or electricity.
Anyway, if any young children are out there heeding my invaluable advice, GO FOR THE LONG PROGRAM.
I feel that this entry has reached it's limit, so I will now bid you adieu, put on some Ella, and pick out the chunks of tomatoes in the marinara sauce I bought. I tell you, I'm really trying.
Back in the day I used to have a Livejournal, which was my blog through high school and basically my journal through those years as well, because I have a total of about 5 written entries for my entire junior year. For awhile I got upset with myself about this, because obviously writing for an Internet audience isn't the best way to voice your innermost thoughts. But then I realized that by keeping my journal that way, I was really expressing myself in the best way possible because it fit that period of my life. I was 16 and no one understood me and my parents were obviously out to ruin my life, so venting it all out in a blog was much better than, I don't know, spray painting things and doing drugs. And, all of my best friends at Livejournal, and then we'd all talk about each others entries at the lunch table the next day. This, my friends, is how my generation communicates.
I actually copied my entire LJ into a Word document once. I put it in 10 pt. font with half inch margins and it was still somewhere around 600-700 pages. I originally wanted to print it all out, bind it, and then erase it from the Internet entirely. Of course, a week after I got done copying and pasting my life away, Best Buy viciously murdered my harddrive.
All last summer Sarah and I used to sit in the living room before we'd go to work. She'd watch the Food Network, and I'd sit there copying. pasting, and re-reading all my old LJ entries. We also did all of this in our underwear while eating Meijer brand mac & cheese, because we had no AC and were dirt poor. Ah, good times.
Anyway, the point I was getting at, was that I did get a lot of compliments about my LiveJournal from people whom I really didn't know that well. For example, Laura's camp friends. And when people said nice things to me, they'd usually say something to the effect of "Your life is just SO interesting". I honestly heard that way more than I ever thought I would, which was cool, but just confused me. I was just your average choir geek growing up in the 'burbs of Detroit. Sure, I did some outrageous things in high school. But so does everyone, right? I will now attempt to divide up the "interestingness" of my life, as I see it...
50% of it is how I write about it (If you know how to write, you can make going to the grocery store sound amazing)
20% my being dramatic (the intensity goes up a few notches)
20% my parents instilling the idea of EXPERIENCES > MATERIAL THINGS into me (This is why I am now running around Europe in $12 TJMaxx jeans)
10% my being impulsive (However, I am pleased with the vast majority of my impulsive decisions. Like hacking off all my hair and going to Oktoberfest. Quality decisions, I say.)
So whenever anyone said that to me, I'd say "No. Not true. Your life is interesting too, you just need to write it down."
I actually mean these things, too.
Anyway, all of that was to make the point that right now, I feel that I am limited when it comes to interesting things to write about. So, I am forced to make mundane activities sound exciting. However, they are mundane activities in Germany, and I continue to be dramatic and impulsive. I have a few things going for me.
Lately I've just been stressing, sleeping, or being productive. The stress actually encompasses all things. So, I've been stress-sleeping and going to the library stressed. Stressed teeth brushing. Stressed coffee making. It's rough.
Germany is a procrastinators worst nightmare, considering all the work comes at the end. But, I feel that the stress level is equivalent to that of finals at U of M. Yes, all of this is auf Deutch, but I have a dumb foreigner bonus here. I am entirely ok with this. The overachiever in me has vanished and I want to make it abundanly clear to all my professors that I only partially have an idea of what's going on. I don't want to turn in crap, but I'm not aiming too high. I figure the accomplishmen in itself will be enough. And these grades don't go into my GPA. If you all hadn't notice, this is me trying to talk myself into being less stressed.
I've already started doing research and I went to a workshop on how to do Hausarbeits
Hausarbeit - gigantic big formal paper
The format is a big huge deal over here. You're a lot more likely to be graded down if you cite something wrong than if you mess up one of your ideas. Also, you must never, ever be subjective. And no one cares about your own opinion. I really don't mind this, considering I'm not terribly passionate about anything I'm writing about. But it's so very German, of course. In America my entire childhood was filled with writing about my personal thoughts. Now, I like this and I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but I was hardly taught any decent grammar because of this. The only grammar I ever got was when I tutored it myself, completely independent of public schooling.
Exhibit A:
"How are you today?"
"Oh I'm good"
NO YOU ARE NOT GOOD. YOU ARE WELL. Saying your good means you're a good person, which you are not because you obviously don't have respect for the English language.
Alright I can't get too upset. I'm not perfect. I still have no idea when one is supposed to use a hyphen or parentheses. So I just throw them around poorly. I apologize for this, especially-to-my-step-mom.
So, that's my message to America. Teach more grammar. And make my little brother learn the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.
Other than learning to be more Socialist, I've been buying tickets to places and looking forward to my break. Natalie and I found 29 Euro tickets from Munich-Budapest, which is amazing. Also after talking to John about what he wants to do when he's here, we decided on a quick jump over to Rome for two nights because I found 60 Euro tickets. I told him we're not allowed to ever sleep and that I'll translate for him when we go hang out with the Pope.
Speaking of John, I miss him and think about him a lot, which of course makes me think about a whole bunch of things. And then I listen to Ella Fitzgerald, which doesn't help anything. I think basically right now I'm doing my best to just live in the moment and enjoy my time here without fixating too much on people at home. But sometimes, that's a lot easier said than done. Especially when you're me.
My other activities: trying to like tomatoes, getting colds, and cleaning my room daily. It's really exciting. I know. I figure a month of hell is alright, considering I haven't been doing anything productive for the past 5 months straight. And I get rewarded with 7 weeks of travel and people visiting me.
Shucks.
Alex and Adam are in Egypt right now, which just makes me a lot more aware of where I am in the world. It's not THAT outrageous to take off for Egypt for the weekend. Or Morocco. Or Istanbul.
The more time I'm here, the more I think that 11 months really isn't that long. A year ago the thought of 11 months terrified me. Deciding to come here scared me horribly but I knew it was just something I needed to do. I also kind of fell into it accidentally, because Julia mentioned it to me one day. Honestly. There wasn't in depth research or a lot of questions asked, which you think someone should do when it concerns a year of their life. I just went for it and then slowly fell more in love with the idea. And everyone yelled at me about leaving.
But now I'm here and I've hit the halfway mark and I'm kind of wondering what the hell happened. I feel like I got here yesterday. Everyone at home keeps going on about how August 3 is so far away but no, it's not. I disagree. It'll be on my doorstep all too soon and then I'll be a total mess when I have to leave Freiburg. I miss home, but right now, I am glad I am here.
I will also now refer to my wonderful grandmother. She and I were talking about my possibly doing Peace Corps and as she said, 2 years really isn't THAT long. And she's in her 80's. So her advice carries a lot of weight because she is definitely what I would call wise. And honestly, what scares me the most about PeaceCorps is how long it is. Well, and possibly not having running water or electricity.
Anyway, if any young children are out there heeding my invaluable advice, GO FOR THE LONG PROGRAM.
I feel that this entry has reached it's limit, so I will now bid you adieu, put on some Ella, and pick out the chunks of tomatoes in the marinara sauce I bought. I tell you, I'm really trying.
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